Reloading Your Starting Character (Remembering Who You Used to Be)
Memories of what we loved as a child, can often help to unlock our purpose as an adult.
Shutterstock by Tithi Luadthong
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In searching for authenticity, it’s normal to feel lost and not sure where to start. You know that you’re not happy or aren’t living up to your potential but unsure what to do about it. One of the best starting points is quite literally to go back to the start.
Do you have a high-level character in your favorite RPG? Think about your favorite book or movie and how the main character is such an amazing badass by the end of the story. These endgame characters inspire us and give us something to aspire to become. But they didn’t start that way. Look back in chapter 1, and you’ll likely find the hero-to-be is just some whiney kid. Go check out a low-level player area, and you’ll find someone with low HP and practically useless skills. But at the same time, inside that newbie is the makings of a superhero.
As we grow, we change, and we are not the same person we were in childhood. But just like those heroes in stories, we had the making of our true selves in our youth. So, it’s important to try to remember who we were back then and what made us feel real and happy to be alive.
Photo by Eirik Olsen on Unsplash
Now in looking backward, it might be easy to imagine childhood as a utopia, full of carefree days and no responsibilities. But for others, it can be very traumatic. The reality is likely somewhere in the middle, just like now, you had good days and bad. A lot of us “nerds” probably dealt with childhood bullying or abuse, and many of us felt like an outsider and misunderstood quite early in life. (Read more on nerds and childhood in No, Nerds Are Not Today’s Cool - by a self-proclaimed nerd)
Dealing with trauma is a very large monster to face, and as low-level adventurers ourselves, we may not have the skills to battle them yet. Strictly focus on the positive memories and leave those sleeping dragons for another day. Think back on what made you happy, what did you like to do, to think about, to imagine?
Ask yourself the following questions to open yourself to positive memories. As you work through these questions, try to get as detailed as you can. If it’s about school, do you remember the classroom, how the teacher looked? Was the book that you liked hardcover or paperback? Did your hands get sweaty holding the control too tightly while trying to fight off that last boss? I’ll share some of my own favorite memories as well.
Focus on only the positive thoughts and memories that truly made you happy as a child. If you notice yourself smiling while remembering them, you’re on the right track.
What was your favorite school subject?
Did you love English class, or maybe it was Art or Music. Perhaps it wasn’t the subject as a whole, but you remember the fourth-grade science teacher that made chemistry feel so cool? Was there a class project that you enjoyed? That English paper on Robin Hood that you were so proud of or maybe that papier-mâché dragon in art class that turned out terrible, but you had such a great time creating? For those millennials, did you find history class boring, but you liked it when class meant playing The Oregon Trail in the library?
What jobs did you want to do when you grew up?
Astronaut, actor, doctor, princess? You probably went through a whole list of them, maybe a veterinarian by day and superhero by night. It doesn’t matter if they were fanciful or realistic. Something about those roles inspired you and made you happy to imagine yourself in them.
How did you like to spend your free time?
Were you the kid that loved reading and knew the librarian by their first name? Were you often at your friend’s house, your battered D&D player’s handbook serving a trusty guide in your Conan-inspired adventures? Was your favorite thing was the wind on your face while picking up speed on your skateboard going down that steep neighborhood hill? If you’re a millennial or a Gen-Xer, were you typically at the arcade mall dumping quarters into Street Fighter II or reading the newest RL Stein book?
Did you do any extracurricular activities?
Were you involved in a hobby that brought you joy? Did you sing in the choir or attended weekly dance classes? Maybe you felt a sense of belonging camping with your fellow scouts? Or you preferred to be alone with your thoughts as a long runner on the track team? Did you like being on stage in the school play or chose to be behind the scenes consulting with your classmates on the best photo layout for the school yearbook? Did you have a Karate class that made you feel strong or worked on a social cause that gave your courage?
Where was your favorite place to go as a child?
Was there a park with an amazing tree that just called out to be climbed to its heights? Maybe you loved to go to your grandmother’s house because she was so genuinely eager to hear about your day? Did you always feel safe when you were in your friend’s basement playing make-believe? Was there a neighborhood pool where you always did that fantastic cannonball, splashing the teenagers sitting on deck?
Do you have a favorite memory from a family vacation or holiday?
Did you buy astronaut ice cream after seeing the Apollo command module up close? Do you remember the smell the sulfur from the fireworks at a family reunion over the 4th of July? Did you get the worst sunburn being on the beach all day? Maybe it sneaking downstairs pre-dawn on Christmas morning, lying under the tree and staring up into lights, enjoying that magical feel before everyone else came down and started the holiday?
What types of games did you play?
What was your first video game? Maybe you liked to play board games and had a family night of Monopoly or Risk? Did you play D&D or other tabletop roleplaying games as a child? Or maybe you were into more traditional games like checkers or chess? If you’re a Millennial, did you consider yourself a Mario fan or preferred Mortal Kombat? Did you play Link on your Game Boy? Did you win 13 Dead End Drive or laugh over Apples to Apples at a sleepover party?
What childhood accomplishments were you most proud of?
Think of this from your younger’s self-perspective and not like a job interview. Maybe it was a tall water slide that you almost chickened out of and then screamed the whole way down. But afterward, you were so excited to do it again and again that you barely noticed the awful wedgies? Were you proud of yourself when you completed what felt like a huge book about magic and wizards on your own? Did you feel super accomplished when you defeated the final boss battle in that video game? Or maybe you taught yourself a skill or completed an amazing project that you were proud of?
What was your favorite movie, tv-show, or book?
Were you drawn to action or slower dramas? Did you like medieval fantasies or sci-fi? Did you love to read, or was it a struggle to find a book that you liked? If you’re a Millenial or a Gen-Xer, did you like spending afternoons after school watching Arthur or Wishbone, or were you more in Animaniacs? Was Saturday morning all about the cartoons, or did you learn world geography from Carmen San Diego?
Who were your childhood heroes?
This could be a real person like a teacher or friend. Maybe it’s a fictional character like a superhero or the main character in your favorite story? These are people that you looked up to, that you admired, and that you could relate to. Most of all, who were the people or characters that inspired you.
Hopefully, by now, you have had a positive re-introduction to your level 1 younger self. Do you see any patterns or commonalities in your favorite activities? Did you love to be creative, trying something new, being active? Did you like being social or inventing things on your own? Try to look for common themes in your answers. Why were those things important to the younger you? Can you paint a bigger picture view of your values, goals, motivations, and what it meant to be happy and feel alive?
Now comes the most challenging part of this, and I want to preface it with a word of caution. Be gentle with yourself. You may still be a low-level adventurer with limited HP so take care not to fight too many monsters at once. So gently and without beating yourself up for getting off track, think about how your life is now versus then. How do your current motivations, your goals, and your values compare? It can be both fulfilling or unsettling to see how much or how little you’re changed.
That joy and the smile that you found yourself wearing thinking about those positive memories – those feelings are still valid. When was the last time that you did any of those activities? Is there a way to incorporate a piece of any of them in your current life?
This task may have been easy for you, the equivalent of just wandering up the garden path. But for some people, including myself, seeing just how far we have strayed is like facing a steep mountain pass full of rockfall. If so, just remember that adventures are not always easy and but they can be worth it in the end. (Read on Why Is It So Hard to Follow Our Dreams?)
So now, give yourself a break, make camp for the night to take a long rest. Sing a song, tell a story, make smores, get some sleep or do whatever makes you happy. Take care of yourself and remember what it is to feel happy.
Photo by Nick Dunlap on Unsplash
Who were your childhood heroes? Please share in the comments below.
Author:
Laurie Trueblood is a writer and life coach that enjoys fantasy, science, psychology, and everything nerdy. As the founder of Adventures to Authenticity, her mission is to help others level up and become the best versions of themselves.
Read more on finding your purpose. Check out the Journey page, The Art of Living Authentically and The Importance of Why in Gaming and Life
