Guest post - How collecting Pokémon cards became my obsession and how I overcame it -
Life lessons on de-fusing obsessive thoughts

[Disclaimers, this article does not serve as therapy in any way, but as generalized tips and information for educational purposes.]

"Let me just look at ONE more listing"

"I wonder if they have this card for a lower price" - then keep clicking 'next page

"I need to bid on this card, if not I will lose out!"

While having dinner - "let me take a quick peek at the card's price"

Are these thoughts familiar to you? Maybe yours were not about cards, but other interests/ fandoms. It certainly had happened to me a while ago when I started back on the journey of collecting and engaging back into the passion for the Pokémon trading card game (TCG). It started with me buying the Shining Fates Elite Trainer Box (ETB) and trying my luck for a Charizard card. Well, of course, that didn't happen. However, opening the booster packs in the ETB triggered a fond nostalgic feeling when I was in secondary school when I opened my first booster pack and the times, I participated in numerous Pokémon TCG competitions and games. Before I knew it, I was buying two more ETBs.

Then, the 25th anniversary Pokémon TCG sets were announced, and it got me excited! I was determined to buy the Ultra Premium Collection Box (UPC) and ETB, but due to the price, I became hesitant. I was thinking to myself, maybe if it by any chance got sold out, it means I got to save that money! Which is reasonable. But here is the thing, it didn't go down that way. In fact, I got upset for missing out on the UPC box! I ended up purchasing two ETBs. I started to spend more time online looking at the prices of individual cards, putting card listings on the watchlist, and bidding on listings based on emotions.

"It’s more important to master the cards you’re holding than to complain about the ones your opponent was dealt."

- Grimsley, Pokemon Black and White

Bing Dictionary, powered by Oxford Languages, defines obsession as "the state of being obsessed with someone or something" and "an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind."

You can see how a small start of re-engaging in a nostalgic memory leads down a rabbit hole of obsession! I became obsessed with getting the next card to fulfill the satisfaction of owning it. My mind is frequently full of thoughts of checking on the listing, the fear of missing out on a certain card, the thoughts of wanting to grow the collections, and ways to increase the collections. While at the same time trying to maintain the quality of life and function at a level that people around me wouldn’t be suspicious of.

I was in the state of being obsessed, with thoughts that continually intruding on my mind!

And…

It was exhausting!

Let's use a metaphor to illustrate what was going on mentally for me. Imagine that we have a limited supply of energy in our body which we use to delegate to our daily tasks and function. Think of our mobile phone, gaming laptop, car (petrol or electric car), or even X-Wing from Star Wars - all these devices or machines rely on a finite source of power. So, when I am using more of these resources on top of what my daily tasks are required to perform in life, it is no doubt that there would be a decline in the quality of my performance when I have to re-route my energy to Pokémon TCG matters.

It is often difficult for people to pull themselves out of obsessive thoughts, especially those who are properly diagnosed by qualified/registered professionals as having obsessive tendency as part of the diagnosis. Hence, if you are struggling, please do reach out to people whom you trust and trained professionals for support. Also, this post is primarily focused on obsessive thoughts in the context of fandom's interest.

Coming back to the topic, am I still as obsessed with buying Pokémon TCG as I was? No, not really. I still look at the listings and occasionally buy booster packs, but it no longer occupies my mind to the extent of impacting the other aspect of my life. I believe this is a normal phenomenon of a lot of fandoms which is completely normal because it is an expression of passion! This passion fuels the happiness meter and keeps us going in life. However, we need to reflect at times in order to assess if this passion has taken over our lives and contradicts the other values in our life. This is how the journey of 'taming' my passion started. If you think you might need to do something with your overpowering passion or obsessive thoughts, continue to read on! I hope this would provide some perspectives and considerations on how you approach these passions or thoughts of yours.

"Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That’s when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart."

- Elesa, Pokemon Black and White

De-fusing from obsessive thoughts through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) (Harris, 2010).

ACT is a therapy modality that often focuses on being mindful of the present, identifying our values, accessing the context, and committing an action that aligns with our values. This is the summary of how I started to be defused from my passion while still enjoying it.

1. Be mindful of what is happening to you.

For me, it was the fact that I was overly consumed by my passions that drains my energy and focus to only my passions which affected my daily tasks. I was noticing that my mind became quite scattered and unfocused on top of feeling mentally exhausted as I was juggling multiple tasks at the same time.
What are you noticing at the present? Tense muscle? Unable to focus? Lightheaded? Relaxed? Scan through your body and your thoughts/feelings and notice, merely noticing what is going on in there as to how you notice the patterns of clouds in the sky.

2. Identifying your values.

I asked myself what was it that is important that I keep thinking and looking at buying the cards? It turns out that engaging in these activities makes me feel good. It fulfils my wants in the past when my interest in Pokémon cards was limited by my financial ability.
And then, I started asking myself if there are any values that I am ignoring when I am obsessing with my interest.
Similarly, ask yourself what values are being met by engaging in the thought/ activity and what are the opposing values that you wish to align your action with.

3. Checking reality, situation, or the context of our actions and values.

After identifying what is going on and values, evaluate to see if your continuation of the activity is aligning to only one value, and damaging the other values in your life. In my case, if I continue down the pathway, although I will fulfill my happiness in expanding my collection, I will exhaust myself and damages my value in my relationship and career. Which I don't want.

4. Committing our actions that align with the values according to the context.

Finally, the hardest bit of the whole process - committing our actions that align to the values accordingly to the context. For obsessive thoughts, creating a physical, emotional, and mental distance is crucial to lessen the effect of the obsessive spells on us. And it takes time and effort. Whenever you are thinking about the topic of interest which you wish to reduce, gently acknowledge it and prompt yourself to re-engage with the activity that you wish to focus on. Basically, repeat steps 1 to 4 until you feel comfortable. This is the key if you wish to create distance and make space for other values in your life. It took me around a week to get to a comfortable distance.

So, do you have a passion that takes up most of your time and energy? Has it been working for you? Do you have any tips and guides to a sustainable fandom activity? Let us know!

Author:

Gorgan Ng, also known as Gamer.Counsellor, is a professional counsellor who enjoys various geek interests and incorporates geek cultures into his therapeutic practice. He hopes to use social media as a space to raise awareness that play, regardless of age, can be a great learning tool. Follow him on Instagram and Facebook.

Read more about gaming and obsession: 20 Reasons Why We Buy Video Games that We Don’t Play and The Science Behind Gamification