Crossroads - Knowing You are on the Right Path
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Every day, we face a crossroads of how we will spend our future and if we will follow our dreams. Here is a fantasy story of the journey and tips and ideas to know where you are on your own journey.
Imagine ….
Opening your bedroom door. But today, instead of the usual view of the hallway or other rooms, you encounter a cobblestone path. Bleary-eyed, you look it up and down. It seems worn and well-traveled and looks strangely familiar. Curiosity getting the better of you, you take its winding path and travel through your past. Passing childhood homes, old schools, first jobs, the way twists and turns as you walk by all of your previous successes and struggles. You begin to see stone walls in the distance and realize that all that you have experienced up until now is within these high walls. Up ahead is an open gate. You walk through it feeling hopeful, excited, or maybe with trepidation or even fear, leaving your past behind.
Every day, we face a crossroads of how we will spend our future.
The sights and sounds of your past life still fresh; you quickly come to a crossroads where the cobblestone path splits into three. An old, battered signpost provides no guidance on which way you should go.
To the right, the path widens to a proper lane. The cobblestones giving way to tightly laid bricks all lined up towards the horizon. Fields line the landscape with their crops, all standing in attention, parallel to the even roadway stretching into the blue-skied distance.
In front of you, the cobblestone path curves down into a sunlit meadow before it turns slightly to the west and into a spacious forest beyond. You can see the narrow trees let in plenty of light, and the wide path in the distance is bright with only minor shadows moving across it from the floating clouds above.
And finally, to your left, is the last choice. Here the cobblestone path becomes uneven and in disrepair. You can see it falling into nothing but a narrow dirt path as it quickly turns and disappears into a dark thicket. In the distance, you can see a steep mountain range and storm clouds above. Just looking down it, you feel your heart racing, and yet you find yourself drawn to it as if in a magical way.
"Today’s ‘best practices’ lead to dead ends; the best paths are new and untried."
- Peter Thiel
Thinking yourself wise, you go right. Maybe it is what your parents would have wanted, perhaps the direction someone told you to take. The path becomes a street, paved and proper. The farms giving way to planned parks and plantings, with similar-looking straight and tall trees lining the route. The course is predictable and it has been traveled by many others before. You continue along the path for days, months, maybe years, towards the promise of that happiness at the end.
But the longer you travel, you become less and less satisfied by this promised avenue. At first, it’s just a slight sense of dissatisfaction. Passing villages with gleaming stonework, you notice tiny cracks in the walls you thought perfect. Pushing it aside, you keep going but begin to find that the once blue sky is nothing more than the monotony of dreary grey. One day, you trip and swear about the lousy craftsmanship by the pavers, though the fault was yours and not theirs.
At night, sleep is shallow and restless. Maybe you turn to another ale to help chase away the bad dreams. Or perhaps you push yourself to work harder and harder and try to cover more distance every day. But despite the exhaustion, sleep is still uneasy, and all too often, you find yourself with even less energy than the day before.
"If the path before you is clear, you're probably on someone else's."
- Joseph Campbell
You find a hole in the sole of your shoe. Another day your pack rips, dumping your rations in the mud. It feels that nothing is going right. Day after day, you find yourself only going through the motions. You’re on edge, waiting for the next thing to go wrong.
Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Unsplash
You start to question things, your self-confidence, your decision-making, and your ability to keep going forward. All too often, time slips away, and you find yourself lost in daydreams of a different life. But you’re too scared to go backward and too afraid to start over, so you keep going. But that nagging feeling is building, and you start questioning if this was the right path after all.
But just as that feeling is the strongest, you come to another crossroads. You have a choice to continue the same paved route, venture to the narrower cobblestone road, or dare the wilds.
This time, you decide to take the narrower stone road. It’s a steeper journey at first. Perhaps more twists and turns. You find yourself drenched in a passing rain burst to two. But you feel better about this choice than the first. It’s only a little more difficult and easy to follow.
You might stay on this path for a much longer time, taking a fork here and there. Making different but eventually similar choices. Over time, the nagging voice of dissatisfaction returns. Maybe not as strong at first. But it builds. Looking down, you see the cobblestones have given way to pavement, and the scenery looks just as before. At this point, maybe you can decide to turn around and try again. But think of how far you have come? How much ground would be lost if you had to start again? The indecision and fear are even worse. You question everything and your choices in life. You have worked so hard to get to this point, and it feels impossible to start again.
The paved so-called easy path is the one that society expects of you. It could be what your family wanted from you. Or who you thought you were supposed to be. It’s following the advice of others only to find out that it’s wasn’t what you yourself wanted.
It could be the image of a perfect life that doesn’t feel right to you. That popular friend who invites you to all the best parties but is never there when you need them. A gorgeous guy that you can’t believe asked you out but stands you up. It’s the dread on Sunday night of having to start the workweek, going to that great job with the corner office, and the big salary that you thought was supposed to make you happy.
We may find ourselves on the path that we thought we were supposed to take
but find that we’re not happy.
It may look good on the surface but you have that nagging feeling that it’s the wrong path for you.
The middle path seems better at first, but with time it is also a disappointment. Maybe after leaving that dead-end job, you take another in the same career field that you find uninspiring. You moved on from a bad relationship but ended up with someone else with a similar personality. It could be a great new friend that becomes distant and less dependable over time. You are trying to do better for yourself. But you are still making the same choices. Eventually, you find yourself frustrated and no better than before.
You know that you can’t keep going like this. Maybe you start to get curious, wondering about what you might be missing on the third route. Or you have traveled through enough fake sunshine that you are ready to face the darkness of that twisted and wild walkway.
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
Signs You Are on the Wrong Path
Feeling dissatisfied and losing interest in things that used to bring joy
Boredom and lack of focus
Easily irritated and short-tempered with other people
Poor sleep and lack of energy
Turning to substances or work to escape (alcoholism, workaholism)
Everything feels like it’s going wrong
Constantly stressed out
Dreaming of another life
Fearful of letting go and losing what you have
Questioning things around you.
"We're not lost. We're just headed somewhere different."
- Emily X.R. Pan
Just as you decide, the path forks again. Maybe it’s very similar, the cobblestones still visible but pushed up here and there by tree roots and overgrown with wild grasses. Or perhaps you decide to throw it all to the winds and run down a narrow dirt road straight into the thickets. Either will eventually lead to the same place.
You find travel is much harder here. Heavy brush often obscures the way, and you must fight through it. Progress feels dreadfully slow. Cliffs often border the narrow walkway, threatening dangerous falls, and the forest can feel dark and frightening. But from all the hard work, you are growing stronger each day.
You hear a roaring noise in the distance and press onwards. The path opens up to a crashing waterfall, beautiful and wild. Drinking from the rushing river beneath it, you find it refreshingly cool. Sleep is restful that night, and the following day you awake, recovered and energized.
"Over every mountain, there is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley."
- Theodore Roethke
Later you encounter the freezing mountains with dangerous rockfall. Sometimes the way is just too steep, and you must backtrack, losing months or even years of hard-earned progress. But at last, bruised and tired, you find yourself at the peak. The immense vista overlooks the fields and forests below. Eagles soar above you, and you feel light and free. But not one to stop; you take in the view and then hoist up your pack to keep going. Ever eager to keep improving and to see what’s next.
The last path, the one that may feel difficult and scary, is about making your own choices and following your dreams. It is a journey that only you can take. It’s hard and often quite unnerving because you don’t know how it will turn out. There’s no map here, and you don’t know what’s around the next turn. You try a new hobby but are scared about the community dismissing you as a beginner. You look for a job in a different field but struggle to get interviews without the same experience; you start a conversation with a stranger, unsure of where it will go. Or maybe you jump into the thickets and try to start your own business? Move to that city? Backpack across Tibet?
Whatever it is, this path is not an easy one. It’s full of unknowns, and you may find yourself full of fear, but it will give you the most incredible sense of rewards and accomplishment in the end. It’s where you are meant to be, living your dreams.
"Wisdom is knowing the right path to take. Integrity is taking it."
- M.H. McKee
Photo by Brad Barmore on Unsplash
How to Know You Are on the Right Path
Regularly feeling scared and excited at the same time
Caring less what others think and no longer making excuses or apologizing for what you want
Confident in your decisions and knowing your self-worth
Feeling tired at the end of the day but mentally energized and enthusiastic
Focusing on the future and thinking less about the past
Seeing opportunities all around you and feeling like things are aligning for your success
Feeling accomplished and motivated to start the day
Losing track of time when working on your projects
Constantly challenging and pushing yourself – finding solutions instead of excuses to move forward
Continually improving and being curious
Keep going and aren’t willing to settle for anything less
Author:
Laurie Trueblood is a writer and life coach that enjoys fantasy, science, psychology, and everything nerdy. As the founder of Adventures to Authenticity, her mission is to help others level up and become the best versions of themselves.
Read more on finding your passion. Check out The Importance of Why in Gaming and Life and The Art of Living Authentically
